You don't have to be sorry about not contributing, we can only deploy rescources when we have them. There are times on these sorts of boards when some people are feeling like you are now, and other people might be having a better patch and each gives according to what resources they have at the time - it all evens out over time. And don't forget that you sharing your current difficulties enables all of us to relate and recognise what is happening for us too. And we wouldn't have that dialogue if you hadn't started this thread.

But I do know about feeling useles, despite everything I just said, I most often don't feel like a contributing member of society, I am on a Dsiability Pension (Australia) and have been for three years and this is after having a 14 year career and three qualifications for that career - all gone now. And I am a member of AA, 11 years sober, and I feel awful that I can't "be of service" and extend my hand in the way I did for many years until my illnesses and the terrible is-prescribing by psychiatrists took hold. But my psychologist and I spoke about it the other day and we agreed that I should think about things like I have described above.

On your meds, the worst thing to do is suddenly stop them. It's your right to stop them of course but if you're going to do it, it needs to tapered down under medical supervision. However, my sense is that your are considering going off meds because you are feeling absolutely desperate and your mind is trying to figure all different ways that might help get you on an even keel and lessen these terrible feeling you have. Before going off your meds could I suggest you talk to your psychiatrist/psychologist to go back over what each med is for, how it is helping you. And if they are NOT helping you, be assertive with the psychiatrist and tell them the side effects are too great, the meds are not working etc. Don't give up on finding those answers. I was mis-medicated for 6/7 years and it swept my whole life away and nearly my life. I wish I had known then what I know now. But I do know that for me, while the science of psych meds is in its infancy and fundamentally flawed, it's the best choice I have in this point in time.