Jexa-
I know it can be so hard after disclosing things. It feels vulnerable and hard to believe that T will understand and wont look at you the same way you feel. But she wont. T cares about you. She knows that none of this is your fault. Even the current situation. Remember how supportive she has been with all of your other disclosures. She will be just as supportive around this one. It is really hard to believe. And hard to not feel disgusting. But she is there for you. Even when she doesn't feel like that. I know it is also easy to pull back and not want to connect. To want to be separate so you don't have to think about her knowing it. I've been there and done that. It is especially easy to get into a rupture to force that space. But she is there for you. She cares about you. She will be there next week. Please take care of yourself.

You are a wonderful person. And deserve all the support in the world. Sharing this stuff is so hard. But it is one of the necessary steps to healing.