Oh(((((Jexa))))) You are a wonderful sister. And a caring person to stick this out so long. I know you love her. I have a similar issue with my brother, but its a non-issue since we are on different coasts. You have so much strength, but you have to keep the focus on yourself for the sake of your well-being.

When I was reading this I had so much to say all along the way- I agree that she has to stop using before she can do anything much about her behavior. She has to reach a bottom where she wants to change things. Even an intervention isnt going to be much help unless there is a seed of willingness. Has your family ever thought of doing an intervention for her drug use?

About her living near you now, the only thing I can think of is to practice a conversation (with yourself or whoever) about setting boundaries with her behavior. " cannot bail you out of an abusive situation as long as you retain an option to hit me, curse at me or scream at me. If you do these things I cannot be there for you and subject myself to it." The hard part is following through. And if you do get a call for help from her, to say, "no cursing, hitting or yelling." I think in some ways after we have allowed ourselves to be treatred this way even once, we are sort of volunteering to let it continue. You know what to say and how to say it. You can say it from your perspective. Not hers. What I mean is you dont have to tell her what she should do, just what she cannot do to you. And that you cannot help her if she behaves that way.

I think in the end, there isnt that much that anyone can do to force another person to get clean or stop abuse. The only control you really have is over how you react. I think from what you said she does have a seed of willingness to get sober. And then deal with herself and issues. It is such a shame because she probably feels she can get away with this while she is young but as she gets older and still isnt clean, she will have so many regrets. And then wish she could turn the clock back. Does she know that? Its one of the worst parts of an addiction and then getting clean. How much time was wasted and what you could have done with that time. Maybe these are thoughts that much reach her. For some reason it seems like it would be better off coming from a drug counselor than her sister. There are so many feelings involved when our family tries to rescue us.