<font color="purple">Things really do spiral out of control once in a while don't they?
My best friend (who lives a couple states away) called the other morning in tears and barely coherent. It seems her friend/pastor committed suicide. Leaving behind a wife, children and a number of friends and family members who just do not understand. Of course the 'story' is sad in and of itself but being that my friend and I are more like sisters, her pain hit me pretty damn hard too. I am not there for her physically but I'm trying to be there emotionally. It just doesn't feel like enough. I'm a fixer, I want to fix this for her, for his family, to make things better. It's hard as hell not being able to do anything.
Then theres the fact that I've been a wreck all damn week. Getting angry and frustrated and aggrivated and pretty much every other unpleasant thing you can think of - why? Who knows. I just am. I want to crawl into bed, hang a "Don't bother the misanthrope" sign on the door and not get up until ... well a really, really long time. My husband's driving me insane, the kids are driving me insane, my job's driving me insane - all the usual 'bull' - but it's just too much for me right now. I am not happy with the way my life is going. I'm trying to make some changes (upping doses on meds, seeing therapist, looking for another job) - but I still feel stuck. It seems like I've been trying to make things better for a really long time and I'm just friggen tired.
Then yesterday I get a call from my mother who tells me that my 20 year old cousin died of an overdose early that morning. 20 years old. Gone. Unbelievable. I'm going into numb stage. I just cannot deal with any more for awhile. I'm going back to bed. Wake me next year will ya?</font>

<font color="#000088">Chic</font>