Hey man, are you bi-polar? I also wanted to say that no matter how bad your marriage was, it was no excuse for your wife or any dissatisfied partner to have an affair. You do, however have issues that you apparently know you need to work on.

I congratulate you for seeking help, as most men dont. I hope you stick with it, no matter what happens between you and your wife. I understand your anger right now. Your wife cheated on you and it hurts. You will go through the grieving stage while dealing with it. Find a way to manage the anger through working out or journaling or something positive.

If you can, find a way to put those emotions into words and tell your wife how you feel, how the affair made you feel, the betraly, etc. Its hard because you both are hurting and the relationship needs someones issues to take a back burner to attend to the other right now.

Your wife working at this job is tough. The other man is going to trigger her affair and all those lovey dovey feelings that came with her "fantasy escape." I would hope she is actively looking for another job. Its my opinion that your marriage is going to have a tough go if she stays there. I wish you luck and you can recover your marriage, but be prepared for a battle.