((((Atreyu))))

Sorry it has taken me a bit to answer here but I did answer in the other forum or at least I did read. I know how you feel but the fact is that what hurt you and what made you have to go within yourself and have others step out is just that. No one has a right to tell you how bad or not bad abuse is. It is what it is and it happened to you and only you know how you could deal with that abuse.

What one holds true to themselves is truth. No one can sit and say what abuse has done. Until you walk in that person's shoes you do not know what it was like, and even then it effects different people different ways. We believe you no questions asked and no expectations expected. We accept you for you, the totality of you. What you went through was wrong and was never your fault.

When you are a child you are supposed to be loved and cared for. No one has the right to hurt you or anything. How could you do anything but what you did? How is a child supposed to have the mind of an adult to know how to deal with issues that are not a child's issues. So many times we just want it all to be fine, to go away. This is normal and who would want to look at what happened, it is painful and hurts.

When I was first diagnosed with DID I denighed. I ran from it and said I cannot be. I thought there was no way. Even up to three years ago, I wanted it to be not true. And I told my friend that if I was faking to call me on it. I cannot fake this and I cannot make it go away by saying it was not so. For they are have done for me what I could not do for myself.

I agree with what others have said about how one child may perceive something and another child may perceive it different. The fact is it was abuse and it was not right. And it was not the fault of either. You did what you did to protect yourself. And you did a great job. For you are here and you survived. Now you are trying to put the pieces back together and keep going. That is a testiment to your strength.

I am sorry you are feeling so bad and that anything happened. All I know is you are who you are and we accept you for you. We validate how you feel for I think we all have at some point tried to denigh or run away from or somehow make what we have gone through not so bad, when the fact is it was for all of us. We did whatever it took to survive. And what we did was a good thing and it took a lot of courage to keep going in the face of abuse.

Please know that we accept you for who you are and respect what you have had to do to get through it all. We are here for you and we care. Please take care of you and hold tight to your truth. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps