((((((((( Jexa ))))))) For me, I had to accept my personal fact that I will always have the scars from the CSA. It hurt me to know this was my personal truth. I wanted a time to come when it was not a part of ME any longer. UGGGGG

But after I accepted the fact of the situation... something happened on the inside. I found hope. Hope that I will one day have so much joy from life and learn how to be happy "in spite of" the scar damage, that I will one day not even notice the scars are there! It is my hope they will sorta "fade" into the background of who I am as a whole person.

But for me to be able to get to that stage, I have to first clean out the wounds and fully process the trauma in the right way. I have to grieve the loss. I have to be angry with the criminals who harmed me. And I have to allow myself to have T help me make sure the wounds are totally cleansed of the poison. Once that happens, the healthy tissue can form again and even though a scar will always remain, it will not longer be a festered wound. Sorry to be so graphic, but maybe it will help you see it a different way. Big hugs to you from one abuse survivor to another!!