Sometimes when I am having an "fit" or I am at the end of my ropes and feel like I am nothing and my life means nothing .....when these things happen I have the same issues....I have been in the shower and (I don't know how to decribe what I'm thinking) I scrub my body so raw and sometimes I scratch my legs/thighs so hard they bleed and scar.I couldn't even begin to know what it feels like to go through this daily ...I too have been this way since I can remember(like 5yrs old)...I feel for you and I know you can't just use mind over matter(well you can to some extent) I think you need a new pdoc and some constant therapy(easier said than done right) good luck and keep me posted as to how things go