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Elysium · 02:39 PM

This is a spin off thread from "Echoes" thread entitled "Dependent Adult Children". I read the article she posted and it reminded me so much of what is happening in my family, just a little bit differently.

In my case it was backwards and a bit more warped.

I'm in my early 30's now, but started working when I was 15. Senior year of High School I was working 24 hours a week, going to school during the day and attending night school to get my EMT's license. I feel like I've never really had a break.

Fast forward to the last few years. My Mother and Stepfather got divorced and my Mother couldn't afford to live on her own. I was struggling with my MI at the time and Mom said "how 'bout I come stay for a bit and help you out financially and around the house?" At that moment, it was a nice thing. Eventually, after a month we made a verbal contract for her to get a job and pay rent and to pay half of the car gas bill since she didn't have one and was sharing mine. She agreed...but never followed through. She didn't look for work, I'd come home every day and she'd be laying on the couch with her feet up, snacking and watching her cooking shows or animal shows.

It was then I realized that this had been her plan all along. This was the same scam she had run on my father and my stepfather, and now it was my turn.

It was the hardest thing for me to do, but it ended with me telling her she needed to get out and get her own place. It was very painful for both of us but I thought if I put some reality and responsibility on her shoulders she would rise to the challenge. Well...she didn't. I went to work one day, came home and she was gone. All of her stuff was still there, and her animals were still there, but she wasn't. I didn't hear from her for almost a month when I finally called her to see what her plan was and to find out when she'd be coming to get her things.

She told me that my Uncle bought her a plane ticket back to California and she had flown back that day we had our fight and I told her she needed to move on. She said she would see when she could have her stuff taken care of but that she couldn't have her animals where she was living. She said I could just take them to a shelter if I didn't want them.

This was almost two years ago. Since then...my 55 yr old Mother has been living in California with her 84 year old Mother. My Grandmother is still paying her own mortgage and is financially self sufficient. My Mother...she is living rent free, has access to my Grandmother's car and is not being encouraged to get up off her butt to become self sufficient. And my family says they're mad at me because I "kicked her out" and "you just don't do that to your family". I think they're more mad though because now she's their problem and not mine.

I think my Mother is planning on freeloading and taking advantage of my Grandmother until she dies so she can guilt my Grandmother into leaving her her house. It's really her only option if she is not going to become self sufficient. And why would she when she's gotten away with it for this long and the rest of the family seems more than happy to enable her.

The whole thing just pisses me off. It hurts too.