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Apr 18, 2010, 02:58 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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LOL, Lynn...I meant her Mother, my Grandmother. 
When my Mother divorced my Father, she was making over $2,000 a month from spousal/child support. She didn't go to work at that time, but just moved us into a big house we couldn't afford and then made us move two more times when she couldn't afford the places we were living in anymore.
Once I turned 18, she lost the child support and was only getting her spousal support which took her monthly income to about $800.00 dollars a month. At this point, she went out and got a part time evenings job that allowed her to earn the minimum of what she needed to be able to keep us afloat. I didn't move out right away because I was working but also going to school full time and she had said we could stay at home as long as we worked enough to support our own bills and pay for school ourselves. (We took out lots of school loans) Ultimately though the electric and phone kept getting shut off and we would always be the ones to step up and pay it so we wouldn't have to study by candlelight and use payphones.
While she was married to my Father she held down three jobs in 15 years...but only worked for about one year out of those 15. Upon marrying my Stepfather she didn't want to work, but they both started spending and living above their means and she ended up going to work part time and kept that job for four years. I don't think it was because she wanted to though. I think she had a plan. In Oregon, if you divorce someone before 10 years of marriage is up, then you are not likely to get any spousal support from them and you lose access to their Social Security benefits. Is it a coincidence that my Mother didn't file for divorce from him until they had been married for 10 years and she could use me as an out?  All I see is that she wanted to sell their house to move closer to me (they lived an hour and a half away) because of my mental health issues at the time. My Stepdad didn't want to do that. This was my Mother's out. She used me. At least this is how it feels.
It's been a long life. But I'm learning how to move on from it and start my own. It's difficult to say the least...but I'm doing it.
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