I posted this thread yesterday I believe...I was writing about a memory that I only remember pieces of. I believe it was a trauma from what I can remember. http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=137560 Since, soon afterward....(matching up the year a movie came out on video and the age my mother first put me in therapy out side of school), I began rolling around fretting on the floor, washing my hands excessively, and locking myself in the bathroom (and possibly using this voice, that my mom reminded me off months ago). Well, when I was writing this and re-reading it over and over, I went into this different voice again. And normally, I would stop thinking about the memories I remember and try to block it out again. But yesterday, I was obsessing about this memory and wanted to know EVERYTHING a.s.a.p. I even watched the trailer to the movie Jurassic Park which I was forced to watch before this incident, just to try to induce memories. I just became panicky and manic....

I didn't really remember anything more. And in this trailer, the kids were running away from the dinosaurs, and a man said something like do you think they get to us? And the woman said, only if they learn how to open doors. And then the dinosaur opened the door. (For a long time I've said dinosaurs don't exsist, since the Bible doesn't say anything about them...pretty sure this started after this incident) This is something that happened to me many times. I try to hide, but someone gets the door opened. I watched that part a few times. I wondered if maybe that was the only reason we were so scared. But the after effects show otherwise.

Anyway, I've had this voice come out before a while ago while reading another thread I posted. I even posted about the voice. I know with DID, a switch would come easily and I wouldn't have to focus on completely switching. So what is going on? If this is an alter, why can I not switch to the alter completely? Or am I just switching slowly and noticing the switch and not noticing that anything is different once I get to the otherside? I'm so confused. If this is an alter, it seems like he (I would call it a he since the voice is masculine) holds all the memories to my traumas and WANTS to remember. But then, why can't I remember it all?