Patty,

How were you able to stop engaging in the ineffective behavior with the N in your life?
I will take what you said a step further. They will take any attention they can get, be it positive or negative. If they can get you to engage in an argument that feeds that bottom-less hole of the N supply.

It took about a year of T for me to be able to remove myself from a very abusive relationship with my wife who was diagnosed NPD. When I said "Like attracts like" I was refering to myself, when I struggled with low self-esteem. Most N have very low self-esteem and that is what I was talking about. Does that make sense?

I hope the OP is doing much better today.