Jenkins, I'll be honest here, though I'm not very proud of it...I stopped searching for a partner, stopped dating, stopped exposing myself to social situations in which I might meet a perspective partner. Sad to admit, but I'm older, age 59 now, and it has taken me 4 years since my last experience to do this psychological and emotional inventory and come to the realizations of what I was doing. AND, I really was doing it (and had done it all my life!).
Yes, I've isolated myself in this respect, but I have peace knowing my patterns and the perspective and wisdom of age.