The one thing that kept me going when I was at that point was the hope things would get better. I just kept thinking 'some really awesome better ******* happen to me to make up for all this crap'.
That eerie feeling that would come over me of how lonely I was, it was as though I was invisible to the people around me, they were completely blind to what was in front of them.

I truly never thought it would end, I found it so ridiculous what kept happening, all the bad luck, I thought I was being punished, I was racking my brain as to what it was I must have done to deserve it all. I thought I was a terrible person, I still feel that way sometimes.

I was given medications since I was 10 years old, I've been on too many to count and they all did nothing. I've seen counselors, doctors, psychotherapists, hypnotherapists, group therapy... It just felt like another person I had to talk to, I wasn't getting anywhere.
I even got to the point where I physically couldn't cry anymore, I could feel it but no tears would come. I wanted help, but I didn't want to ask, I'd call someone and then do the whole 'forget it, it doesn't matter' thing, and then wished I hadn't said it, but was glad I did, and kind of wanted someone to be concerned and come over but get pissed off if they showed up...

Nobody has the answer to solve it, no matter how many people you ask there won't be someone to miraculously make it all go away. And the torture of that seemingly never ending insanity can be unbareable. But it's not impossible thought that it will one day get better for you, I haven't had a break down in 3 years. Of course in that time I have had some hard moments, recently I thought I was on the verge of another breakdown but I realised it was just me coming to the realisation of some things that were hard to think about.
But the thing I thought was impossible has finally happened, I feel sane again, I feel like I can do stuff, I can get a job now, I'm cleaning my house, I'm getting better friends and ditching the worthless people, I haven't had that eerie feeling in such a long time.

You will get there one day. Don't think of WHEN it will get better, focus on it WILL get better.