((((((((((((((((jen, myself & shadow))))))))))))))))))))

i've tried to push it away. i know it's not something i can handle right now. i've been pushing so hard and for so long that it's seeping thru everywhere now.

i should've faced it then right? well, i couldn't because alot of it was dissociated away. for a week after his passing i had NO, NONE, emotion. now, it's coming out everywhere.

yes, i will have to talk with t. he had a talk with me right after dad died saying that it will start coming out and will have to be dealt with then. he knew this was going to happen because of my reaction at the time i guess. he's pretty smart, huh?

thank you all such much for your support and reinforcing that i get past my pride and fear and bite the bullet.

be safe everyone,

kd