(or is it?? I don't really know)

Each time I have reached out to T in a time of great sadness (usually on a weekend...and doesn't happen that often, but seems to be happening more frequently as of late), she has always said we could talk on the telephone, or like last week...come in to see her, even though I couldn't. Talking on the phone FRIGHTENS me! I'm not really sure why, because I see her every week face to face...but yuck. I only grabbed at the phone opportunity once (friday), but I had to force myself to press the call button.

What I want to know is WHY is it ok to reach out and receive additonal help in between sessions? If it is truly a crisis, you should probably go to the hospital or call a crisis line, yes? If it isn't, why can't it wait until the next week? Or is it not ok? I have e-mailed my T when I am having a tough time, and she always responds and she ALWAYS says I can call her if needed.

I don't get it, really. I am one of X amount of patients she has (I have no idea how many), and if everyone emails her and she offers all that extra time, how can she have time for herself? her family? I guess I feel guilty for reaching out. It is weird, foreign. I'm not so sure how I feel about it.