Is that part of what makes it hard to open up even in that room? That "complaining" or talking about tough stuff feels needy, and maybe even silly, maybe it even feels in some way childish or strange?

I know lately I have had a hard time talking to T about certain things. She asks every session whether I had something in mind to talk about, and I say, "But I can't just bring it up!!" Why? Well, it feels silly and like I'm a big whiner and it feels desperate and stupid and pathetic and all of those ick things. Haha so I sabotage myself by writing things down ahead of time and forcing myself to give them to her. Somehow, that is easier!

If there was a way for you to open up to your T more, I know your T would jump all over it. Hitting that call button when you're actually in the mood to talk will probably make your T's day!!