Hi Georgiegeorge,
I like the picture. Reminds me of Liza Minelli in her movie CABARET.
Despite the childhood trauma, you are a WONDERFUL SURVIVOR.
Striking up conversations is difficult. Maybe you can try a movie fan club, or follow a band or musician, or try something like a dance club (line dancing is fun) or an easy sport: walking club, Tai Chi, Qi Gong, Bushwalking, or even volunteer at the animal welfare and nurse and cuddle the animals. The focus of these conversations is the ACTIVITY that is happening. You can start sharing stories about the care of the animals, their previous owners etc... and who the new families coming to adopt the pet.

Maybe you are trying to hard to say the right words.

I know what this is like. I entered a conversation as a young kid, the group was talking about child birth and the stretching of the vagina. Well I missed out on the vagina part and assumed that they were talking about the stretching of the belly button. Well I was the laughing stock of the entire small town school. They had the power game, blaming and shaming me as the ignorant and naive "idiot."
Truthfully, a good friend explained why I became the object of some of the girls and boys giggles and silent whispering behind hands. I knew where babies came from.... I just blundered into the middle of a conversation. I learnt to listen well. I also learnt to read very well and became very informed about a lot of current information. I focussed on studying what I liked and found many new friends who liked the subjects that I studied.

I moved into a circle of new friends who liked what I liked. And were happy to share what information I have.

Remember the movies Woman in Red? Julia Roberts was out of place in the posh social circles. Audrey Hepburn in My FairLady, had to be trained to walk in the well to do society, Devil wears Prada?

Or you could try the Audrey Hepburn Classic, stand infront of Tiffany's munching on a danish pastry or croissant, you must wear pearls (fakes from the good old church op shop), and share the opportunity of HAVING BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S.

LIFE IS ABOUT FUN. Conversations come later.

What do you think?