I do agree with jenkins09 that we are all N's to some degree. At first I couldn't see that because most of the stuff I read will discusses NPD from the N's point of view. "Why N's behave they way that the do and how others are affected by what Ns do."

I found this article by Alan Rappoport Co-Narcissism: How We Accommodate To Narcissistic Parents. I read this article several times thinking about this idea of "co-narcissism". Rappoport says "All of us are narcissistic, and co-narcissistic, to varying degrees. When our self-esteem varies in relation to how others think and feel about us, we are experiencing a narcissistic vulnerability."

He's saying the N and the Co-N (those affected by parents w/NPD) both suffer from low self-esteem but just cope with it in different ways. To take it a bit further, just like the N needs an "audience", maybe the co-N needs a "star".

I have a history of childhood abuse so I do admit to feeling inherently damaged. I spend an obsessive amount of my day putting up a facade that I have everything under control and I am just as normal as everybody else. I sacrifice what I want searching for praise and approval and then get frustrated and angry because I feel people don't appreciate what I've done for them. I do this regardless of whether I feel you like me or not. Many times, the more I think you dislike me; the harder I will try to get your approval. From what I've read, the "sacrificing part", would make me perfect for an N.

So now I'm wondering if trying to make myself "the martyr" be considered a narcissistic trait? I think I do this more to make myself feel good than to help.