Thanks Jax and Erin.

I sent the email to the person in question so I am hoping that she will better understand what I am feeling.

The thing is, I feel like I have nothing to offer in a friendship. To me friendship is about, support, love, caring, kindness, talking about common interests, etc.
I can handle the caring, support, love and kindness.....anything beyond that, well, I dont know.

You see, even as a child I would never get close with anyone because it ended up one of three ways, a) either the person didnt like me and they left, b) they died or c) they would hurt me in some way or another. So I learned to put up a wall. A wall that very few people have ever been able to get through.

I am not an educated person. I was horrible in school. Skipped alot. I was taken away from my home for nearly 2 years and placed in an environment away from my family and surroundings and well, honestly, I really cant talk about that right now. Anyway, I was pregnant at 17 and married. I dropped out of high school shortly there after and became the typical teen pregnantcy statistic.

I did go back and obtain my GED 3 years after my first daughter was born. That I am proud of.

I was abused by my first husband and kept in seclusion until I had the courage to break free from him. After that was a turning point for me. I worked hard and saved and over came all the obstacles that were put in my way because I finally wanted to prove that I wasnt going to be another statistic.

In the process though, I never learned how to be a friend. Like I said, very few have gotten through the walls that I have built around me.

Maybe I have to learn to lay it out on the table and say:

My name is Jen, I am a depressed, anxiety ridden OCD freak. I am un-educated and a high school drop out because I was pregnant at 17 and married. I was abused by my father and my ex husband. I dont have much to offer in a friendship other then support.

How is that? If that dosnt make ya run away, well I dont know what will.