GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


I was doing so good. It seemed like everything was finally getting straightened out. Now iI have a stupid cold......yeah I know it seems like it isn't a big deal. It feels like someone is sqeezing my lungs so i can't breathe but the worst part is it feel like my heart is being ripped open. It is the same physical pain that I felt last month from quitting cutting. It hurts so bad. It is completely emotinally straining and I feel like everything, all the thoughts and feelings from last month are rushing back. I'm scared that it will stay with me. Why can't this pain just leave me alone? It's engulfing my mind. I'm searching for an escape and everything is black except for a red slit of a hole that I could fit through but it will be painful. You all know what I'm talking about. It's the only escape i can see. I'm at school with no blade...which is a really good thing... but it seems like such an easy escape. I HATE THIS SO FREAKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!