Well it was a mixture because of the trauma I had with my daughter being rushed into hospital friday night. But underneath all of this Is feelings. Something T said towards the end about me just wanting to switch of the feelings that therapy brings up and how fightening it is because once the lid is taken of these things, one doesnt know for sure where it ends and that these feelings of yearning, wanting reasurance, fear of abandoment and abandoning is just alien to me, its more then that, and now the lid is off I dont know how to be with them. I think talk of a "lid" being taken off is very scary but on the drive home, reasuring also. At least it puts this awful feeling into some sort of order. No wonder some quit therapy or dont ever go to begin with, having the LID taken off is very scary!!