thanks sweetie . the thing is, i think he really did think he was doing me a favour - in a concerned uncle-ish sort of way. i have a large extended family and this is exactly the sort of thing they would say, so it wasn't the content itself that was mind boggling (though to this certain deli it isn't the sort of thing she would aim for) but the fact that a complete stranger took that intimate liberty with me based on the colour of my skin. i really, really do believe he was trying to be good, however, and it made me not want to say anything too strong against him. if pdoc, for example, took the same 'advice-giving' tone with me then i would probably welcome it.
i've reach that point now where i feel silly about this? am i making a big deal over nothing? and then it hits me again that this guy was a medical practitioner, who i had never met before, and that i (stupidly?) expected a level of professionalism from him befitting the title of GP. gosh, it just makes me sad though - for him and me. i dont know if i just triggered some weird transference thing in him though - he kept telling me about other people my age who he knew who looked like me and asking whether i knew them. at one point he stopped and laughed and said it was hard to believe he wasn't talking to this other girl because we looked so similar/had the same mannerisms. so i am kind of telling myself that maybe i got him on some weird sentimental day, or that i triggered something for him.
unfortunately i guess his stuff fed into my stuff and triggered me also. it's taken so much to forge my own path away from what's expected of me, and it did feel like all of that was crashing around me when i was sitting in his room - here was a complete stranger expecting the same things of me as my parents/uncles/aunties/concerned elders. it feels like no matter what i do people will still want to box me in a way they think is right. it was demoralising.

thanks poppet. the paperwork thingy - he explained i need to wait 3 months between reviews, and what he said was legit. so yeah, i can go to a different doctor and get the paperwork done but i'll have to wait until june. the only problem is that i dont want to go back to that centre and the other doc will want the original referral, so im not sure how to get it. i might ask austin-t for it. or bully pdoc into being a bloody doctor and write the referral for me.

thanks ((((wepow)))). he already knew i was studying psych, and then he when he asked me why i was there and i said i needed a referral to austin-t he asked me why, and i said depression. and he made some stupid joke about how i was studying psychology and should be able to fix myself. it upset me a bit, but i dont think it was meant to be malicious - i get enough stupid psych jokes that it kind of flew under the radar. but in the context of the rest of the session i'm just like, ugh - just another thing he did wrong. it feels weird that he could have stuffed up so massively.

thanks champagne!! i dont think it was austin-t's fault - he didn't say "same cultural background" - he just said what nationality the doctor was (which happens to be similar to mine), the last GP austin-t had recommended (the one who left) was russian. austin-t is south african. he wasn't trying to draw a connection for me, i think he was just saying something about them. they all have pretty heavy accents, it can be pretty funny.
you're right that the new doc might've been nervous & trying too hard. it really did seem like he wanted to establish a connection straight away, to get to really know me as an individual instead of just another patient. but maybe he got carried away.
i dont know about making a complaint, but i might talk it over with austin-t so austin-t knows not to refer other people to him. but at the same time i feel bad because when we were leaving he kept saying "god bless you" and said he really hoped i would come back . so at the same time i feel really sorry for this doc and i almost would go back just because he asked me to.