Last week when I called Kt (she said I could, to tell her how my grandson was) I got her answering machine, not her. Her last response to my email was that she wasn't sure how to answer, and she reminded me that she had told me she couldn't be a T via email. So in the message I said that I needed to be able to email, but that she didn't have to answer them. I think I also said "unless I ask you to" but I'm not sure.
She emailed me back and said that my not requiring a response was "a great idea" and that she would print my emails so if it was important we could discuss them in our sessions.
There is something bothering me about what she wrote. Why didn't she tell me originally that she didn't want to reply? Why was it such a "great idea"? It wasn't. I just don't want to take advantage of her. She DID reply to every email so if I hadn't offered this "great idea" would she still do it? I wonder if she would have been more insistent and tell me she wouldn't answer them.
I also have to clarify that if I DO want an answer, she will. Maybe what is bothering me is that she was so quick to agree that she won't answer me, so that takes away some of what felt so good. Is this a case of what I want is not what I need?
I see her on Wednesday so I will tell her my feelings and clarify what I told her.
On another note, she's going out-of-town for at least 1 day so my "worry button is pushed." Bt hardly ever went away. I worry when anyone goes on a trip, whether by car, train or plane. I want her safely back so I can continue my therapy! My "day" is Tuesday but that's why it's switched to Wednesday this week.
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