But anger isn't a "bad" reaction; it just is. Sure we respond with anger toward certain situations; that doesn't make it bad.

But, if your anger is out of proportion, irrational, or maybe your coping mechanism isn't healthy, that's all on you. That isn't about blaming the victim, but it does say that if you want to get beyond victimhood, you have to learn how to get through those feelings in a way that doesn't hurt yourself any further.

We can't change what someone did to us. All we can work on is how we have been affected by what has happened. That means we have to get in touch with our own emotions (our reactions to what happened). That is all we have control over. That doesn't mean our reactions are bad or wrong necessarily. They are what they are. But when we carry those emotions so long that they affect us now, years later, then we need to work on that. We don't want to live buried under than emotion forever, do we? I want to work through those emotions and move on myself. That takes lots of time and LOTS of therapy.