Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
Now and then, in my general reading about therapy, I do get a whiff of this kind of belief - that some Ts may actually believe the client/patient is responsible for the effect that others' actions have on them - and I strongly protest. These authors say nicey nice stuff ike, "no one can make you unhappy. Only YOU can do that"...
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I think that maybe that is literally true, but only true in practice for a very mature, emotionally aware adult. As a child I suppose no one can MAKE you angry, but in practice few if any children have the insight to
not react that way to what seem like "deliberate" provocations.
(I put quotation marks around deliberate, because that implies that the offender is in full control and fully knows why they are acting. That puts too much power with them, though of course it is often not easy to discern that they actually do not feel powerful.)
This seems to me to be a case where people, T's especially, need to phrase things very carefully, so that they don't create misunderstandings. I don't know many who understand enough to do that.
(SAWE, you may be surprised when you discover some day that someone is trying to make you angry, and they fail, because you see what they are trying to do. I think that day may come sooner than you expect.
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