Salukigirl,

Can I ask dear one, what your partner is prepared to undertake to find out what is happening for him? Does he see his behaviour as a problem?

The reason I ask is that it is immensely difficult sometimes to convince someone that there are issues, when they themselves don't see them, as I am sure you already know.

I was also dx with traits of Narcissistic PD among other things many years ago. I was dx with AS at 36. I do lack empathy, unless I have experienced something myself. I am somewhat able to "walk in another persons shoes" if I have been there myself. It is a learnt empathy of sorts. I am however very compassionate and caring and sympathetic. Logic rules though and I am very rarely able to identify my own feelings without great effort and it usually takes months to identify them. This can often lead people to accuse me of being unfeeling, or cold and remote. It is just the opposite and the people that know me, know this to be true. I am just concentrating on solving the issue rather than considering that I might feel something about it. Usually my fiance is the one to gently point it out to me by saying "Don't you feel sad about that?" or "Doesn't that make you feel happy?".......I say "Oh I never thought of it that way!" Then I spend months analysing it If it isn't logical, then it goes round and round in my head like a tape on a continuous loop until it is "decoded" and then I can process it. It can be very distressing as communication is an inherent "human behaviour". I lack the inherency and so I get very lost, frightened and confused sometimes especially if the script changes suddenly or the other person becomes erratic or very emotional. Hope that helps you maybe understand your partners process a bit more if you find similarities.

Take care and I hope your partner gets the help he needs so you can both experience joy.

In stillness,

Michah