i had no therapy today and wont untill next monday because today is a holiday.i had so much go on this week from the moment i walked out of my session last week.AND I MISSED GOING.whats wrong with me i dont talk i just sit thare in zobie land as my T stares at me.so much has gone on for me this week that i was totally gone in my head i mean just gone not here.going through the motions.totally just getting through with no feelings or nothingTOTAL GRANITE with my beast friends son committing sui i had no choice but to just go numb and do what needed to get done.sat was funeral and now i am feeling again and OMG i cant deal im scared.Im so agitated,angry,tired,board,anoyed.again i woke up today with a head filled with ****.all kinds of stupid ****,same with going to sleep last night.I have untill next monday to hold on and what for ill go to therapy and i will sit in that damn ****ing chair and not say a word.but i will love the calmness of it.i dont know what to do i dont know what to even say here to help .thing just suck so bad.no i wont write her a letter!!!i cant call,or send E mail or anything. im even angry about that at this poin also, but dont know why. what am i gonna do call and not say anything.i guess the silence would clue her in on who it was anyway.anyone ever notice that we have a hell of a lot of holidays on monday!!!! my husband is driving me crazy with his constant vigel on me and what i am doing and how i am doing.I want him to leave me the **** alone.i am what i am and he isnt little mini T and going to do any thing to fix it all so GO away.god at this point i would just commit SUI just to get away from his bugging me