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Originally Posted by Myers
I should have addressed the actual question in my earlier post, but I guess I was preoccupied with discrediting Vaknin...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Myers
Narcissists generally look for people who wear their empathy on their sleeves and whose vulnerabilities are easily seen. The narcissist can recognize these types of people by how they respond to the narcissist's behavior. It's not a bad thing to be empathic or have some insecurities. The trick is to be guarded on who you give that care to, and who you allow to see your insecurities. Don't be so guarded that you push everyone away to protect yourself, but don't buy into every bs story, either. Happy medium...
Narcissists want to be seen as special. They want to be idolized and adored. So, to keep their ill-intentions at bay, treat them like everyone else.
And, I know there are narcissists that are aware of their behavior and are actively trying to fix it. Kudos to them. I'm strictly talking about the narcissists that do have ill-intentions.
Anyway, I hope I helped a little. For most predatory types, the victim-seeking process is not a conscious effort. I don't have a clear knowledge of why I'm attracted to certain people, so it's hard to describe.
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Well, my gosh, Myers, thank you for the intelligent and insightful reply.
You've described me exactly as someone who "wears their empathy and vulnerability on their sleeves." At the same time, because of your posts, I've recognized some N behaviors within myself, or at least some of the things which made me predisposed to the relationships I've encountered.
Great breakthroughs here.
Thanks!
Patty