rainbow! I am hopelessly addicted to PC too. I got home from work and told myself I wouldn't do PC today. So I waited til midnight!

Just want to say I totally get the whole deal with the emails and I can relate. Like, I sent T an email after my intense weekend letting her know I was ok, and she said, "Oh, I was just going to check on you. Glad to hear you're doing better," and I think, crap! I shouldn't have let her know I was okay! Then she would have called me and I would have felt even more cared for! And then I had these urges to make it seem like I wasn't really okay just so she would call! I resisted the urge but still. I imagine it feels that way now for you. You're thinking, "Wait, I DO want this attention, I DO want you to respond.. I just don't want to feel guilty for asking, so I'm offering this solution, hoping you will turn it down and tell me everything's okay!" And then there is this endless circle of you trying to make subtle movements, all these subtle movements that end up.. where?

They end up in drama, ruptures. Does creating drama in the therapy relationship feed the addiction? Is this your way of trying to get the addiction to manifest?

Just throwing that out there..