If you don't make a complaint, I will. I'm fuming about what he put you through. Life is hard enough than to have some arrogant MD decide it's his place to tell you so many negative things about your life situation, share his great wisdom. Really, he was sooooooooo out of line.

To clarify, I gathered that he's from your cultural background/ethnicity/religion/race or some combo of? So he was trying to relate to you as "being one of us/(his kind)" and not as an "other"---true? Not racist in the traditional sense of bias against the "other", etc.? And he's like very hardcore into the old-fashioned customs of the shared community background re: the role of family, things like how long you live with your parents, when you get married, to whom, gender roles, etc. ? (Like your parents and family are?) Is this true? Not that it matters; I just can't gauge how much he was insulting you for not being "like your kind" (you as "other") as opposed to for not being "enough like our (us) kind" in his eyes. Read any Fanon?

Anyway, the things he said are very, very unprofessional and unethical here in the US. He crossed so many boundaries. At that younger age, being provoked about stuff like that (esp. family given my situation at that age) and being lectured like that, at some point I'm sure I woulda let loose with a two word response where the first word starts with an f and the second with a y. If not then and there, all the way on the drive home and wrote a letter of complaint utilizing the colloquialism. (Then deleting it from the real letter I'd send).

He should get in major trouble for what he did. Maybe you were someone going through all sorts of difficulties like the kind you actually are going through? He didn't know? And you're there for a psych referral, so he should be particualrly sensitive to your state of mind.

The "g" word is lost on me as an agnostic, but while he might be a decent, moral person, he needs to learn that the workplace is not the proper place to sell/proselytize about a lifestyle. And that being in a position of particularly crucial authority, he needs to take special care because of the power he wields. Sometimes good people do bad/stupid/wrong/inept/harmful things. He needs to be set straight by his superiors. You're not the only one he has or will victimize. You can do a public service by making a simple written, unemotional, fact-based recitation of what he did and said and giving it to clinic mgmt. I'm sure he had good intentions, which is irrelevant to whether or not his behavior was appropriate.

Who are these people who think it's their place to lecture others?

I really wish you didn't go through this. With all else going on you don't need a dolt like him sticking his nose in your business and condescending to you. Still, you are handling it remarkably well. There's a certain sense of equanimity in many of your postings lately that smells like progress.