So, I had a really 'good' weekend re: ed behaviors. But my weight was up yesterday and I was overcome with panic.
I didn't know what to do, so I left a message for T telling her I was freaking out.

Last night she called back and left very stern message saying she wanted to 'remind my brain' that I was still underweight and that I need to focus on my goals of recovery and being there for my children.
She said a lot more about not getting caught up in the distorted thoughts, and feeling proud of my accomplishment.

I think it helped. I'm so glad she called back.
This is so scary for me, and very sad. I feel like I am turing my back on a friend (eating disorder)....I just want to cry.
But maybe I am also glimpsing what new 'friends' I can have without it.

Anyway, I'm glad I have T's message. I will probably listen to it 100 times before I see her on Thursday.