(((hasharin))) Welcome to PC!!!! Such insight into oneself for being only 15. Yes, it has to be hard to see a girl you like going out with your best friend. Totally normal. Possible eating disorder, borderline personality disorder, cutting. All very serious!! Need to get that checked out by a professional. Now is the time to start dealing with it. Any way you can share this with your parents? If not, maybe a counselor at school? I got spanked as a child but only on the bottom and never on my bare skin and always with prior affirmation that my parents loved me, and wanted me to know that what I did was wrong, and only after several offenses on my part. Im a better person for it. It is not OK for your mother or anyone else to ever hit you in the head. It is similar to being attacked, and it is very emotionally destructive, and talking things out is much more productive, especially at your age. You may want to discuss this with your mom. Sorry to hear that your dad is abroad so much. Its tough when a parent has to work away from home. Keep posting. You will find alot of support here!!