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Old Apr 20, 2010, 08:54 AM
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deliquesce deliquesce is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,124
guh. i'm so angry at your T, (((((zooey))))). im seriously confused about why she is acting the way she is and i, too, am wondering if she's the right T for you. i feel so sad on your behalf - what you said about not wanting to let important people go. i found myself in the same situation with my old-T; knowing he wasn't good for me (therapeutically, he never transgressed any ethical boundaries) but too scared to leave because there had been occassions when he had helped.

i wonder what is going on with your T that she is being such a... (maybe i won't say exactly what i think about her). i mean, i'm wondering, but at the same time i don't care - because she's meant to be the professional in this and she's letting you down.

my T doesn't practice DBT with me (it triggers me too much) but he practices it with any client who will let him. the longest i've had to wait for him to respond to a phone call/email/text was an hour, and even then he apologised and explained he'd been in a meeting. usually he txts back straight away and lets me know exactly when he will call.

my pdoc can be sucky at returning calls, sucky at showing up to appts on time, sucky at writing referral letters.... BUT on the rare occassion i've been assertive enough to light a fire under... (as you so eloquently put it in your first post ) he's been nothing but apologetic, and he's made every effort to follow through on changing his behaviour.

i dont understand how difficult it is for your T to put a system into place where she keeps her fricken' mobile with her!!! she could buy a bumsack if she really was that hopeless and keep it on her person at all times. i'm angry at her, ooh.

also: yeah, 12 weeks imo is a bit unrealistic to process lifelong trauma. i can understand that for singular events it can be very effective (as tayquincy described) but - gosh! - i think i've spent about 5 sessions spread out over years just getting the bare minimum out. and on those rare occassions, pdoc has seen me twice (or even 3 times) a week, and probably talked or txted me every other day in between.

i wish i could give you my austin-t, zooey . he is committed to practicing DBT properly and being fully available for his clients (AND he's told me he has clients he's worked with for years processing one event of trauma). and because you're ready to do this, he'd probably be so excited by you that he'd happily give me the flick and bend over backwards to help you. that's the sort of T i think you deserve, zooey.

i dont think it's anything wrong with you that's making T act and say inappropriate things, because i know a good T would welcome you with arms wide open. but i AM sad about what you said about not wanting to let go of T and i don't know what to say. wish i could sit down and have a cry with you and then go kick her in the shins.