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Old Apr 20, 2010, 02:27 PM
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zooropa zooropa is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 3,079
oh wow. So many responses, I wish I could reply to each and every one but this post is going to be long enough as it is. So first just a blanket thank you and for everyone who cared enough to read or reply to this thread.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Solarwind View Post
zoo-

im not smart and im new here and maybe that is a good thing cause i am looking at this from an outside viewpoint....
.

16 hours and T does NOT call back in DBT?
solar, first of all, you ARE smart and articulate and your input means a lot, no matter how long you have been here.

I agree my T is bad about the phone call thing. This has become a major source of frustration for me. It's just not in line with DBT protocols, period. I struggle with this because on the one hand, as T is constantly reminding me, she is only human and bound to make mistakes. On the other hand, it IS therapy interfering behavior on her part and as such needs to be addressed.

To answer your question, I've been w/this T for a little over a year and half.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TayQuincy View Post
I did trauma work years ago, and it was only 10 weeks. It was really intense exposure work. Yes, it was only one incident, a major one. I've had other traumas but they weren't the type of traumas that cause flashbacks, body memories.

Usually, if you are still in suicidal phase, the focus is not anywhere near trauma work. That usually comes after skills are well established. I did three rounds of DBT skills training, and then was in an advanced group for application of skills for several years. During that time, i did the trauma work.
I'm curious, tay, if you have been seeing the same T all this time? Your DBT T? Because that in itself is unusual in the world of DBT, to be in it for years. A couple of years, sure, but several? I'm just curious.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melbadaze View Post
There are no hard and fast rules to any of this.
THIS. And I get tripped up by this a lot, because my T is very rigid in her adherence to DBT protocols (except where they apply to her, that is) and it feels very restrictive at times. There are no "rules" and my emotions, anyone's emotions, don't always fit neatly into this box or that flow chart, etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by deliquesce View Post
she's meant to be the professional in this and she's letting you down.

i dont think it's anything wrong with you that's making T act and say inappropriate things, because i know a good T would welcome you with arms wide open. but i AM sad about what you said about not wanting to let go of T and i don't know what to say. wish i could sit down and have a cry with you and then go kick her in the shins.
(((((deli))))) thank you so much for your response. It makes me feel good to know that you feel so strongly on my behalf. I wish we could sit down together, too.

I appreciate so much you saying that it's not anything wrong with me, because of course that is how it FEELS. Even if I can intellectually know that it's not her personally rejecting me by ignoring or putting off returning my calls, it FEELS like a very personal, passive-agressive attack.

Quote:
Originally Posted by farmergirl View Post
I think what you are seeing here is that many of us have been through trauma work, and no two of us have had exactly the same experience. It is a very individual process. ....Try not to get too far ahead of yourself. Let the process be the process. A day at a time.
thanks, farmergirl. I always appreciate your no-nonsense, down-to-earth replies. You remind me of my T in some ways, actually, very matter-of-fact and everything sounds so easy the way you phrase it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Solarwind View Post
im sorry, but to me, some random number like "we spend 12 weeks on trauma therapy" is not even considering the client. it is a random response...maybe 10 weeks works for that client, maybe 2 years works for that client.

none of us know how much time zoo needs to deal with the trauma..only zoo knows that and honestly, i think it is a growing knowledge.

some people can deal with it every session, some need to deal with it one session and spend the next 5 sessions getting stronger. but simply ignoring the client factor is what is troubling.....
thanks again, solar. I just wanted to add that I have learned a lot about ME during the times that I have done trauma work w/my T, and as hard as I thought it would be, it is exponentially more difficult. Harder than I ever imagined. And there is a lot of fear there, too. Fear about what going deeper w/trauma work will bring up, and fear of not being able to manage those feelings once they start bubbling up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TayQuincy View Post
Solar, I think you are misunderstanding what "trauma work" is in DBT. It is time-limited exposure therapy. The trauma has to be specific. If you were traumatized in general for 18 years, that is not the same as a specific traumatic incident. Not all DBT patients do trauma work. It is generally for the PTSD from specific events, so whether someone does trauma work at all depends on what their specific experiences are.
interesting that you say that, Tay, because I was in fact traumatized repeatedly throughout my 18 years of marriage. And yesterday my T said that we will spend 12 weeks dealing with that, the same as we will spend 12 weeks dealing with an isolated incident of SA that happened, and 12 weeks dealing with csa. It seems to me that it'd be difficult to say that all those different kinds of trauma are each going to be processed the same way and in the same time frame. And I know from experience now that I likely cannot spend 12 weeks straight talking about nothing but the SA, for example. The thought makes me go

I just want to add that my T did call me back this morning, although I missed the call so I didn't talk to her. She left a message saying that yes, we can look at different options, and for me to write my ideas down so we can talk about it on monday. I guess I should just be glad she called back at all.

And just because it will feel GOOD to say this: my T totally sucks at the phone call thing. TOTALLY SUCKS. I feel sorry for her other clients, too, because not everyone has this kind of support network I have become a part of here. I bring so much messed-up-ness to our therapeutic relationship, so many issues and triggers and problems, that it feels good to lay this particular area of difficulty and source of pain (for me) firmly at HER feet. She needs to work on this, and she knows it, and yet she hasn't seemed to make any progress in that direction. Someone is going to be hurt or worse some day because they depended on her and she flaked out. But that someone is not going to be me.