i am glad that what i've said made sense and i'm glad if it helped you out in any way. an objective view is definitely a good one to maintain if you can, although i understand how much you are hurting.

it is going to be essential that you view her actions in light of her abuse. that is where they are based. they are rooted in her past and it is unfortunately shadowing her present and her future.

given what you've told us that she's said i doubt that she'll be very happy with gestures that indicate a future friendship...but you never know. if you do make a gesture to that effect i would make it brief and to the point. something that won't make her too angry or be an incredibly painful reminder of what she no longer has.

the friendship stone could work...though i doubt that if she does break down and cry that you'll ever know about it. sending it through the mail is a good idea. it protects you from rejection if there is any and allows her to accept the gesture without having to show you what it means to her. it may not work but it's worth a shot. only time will tell after that.

i hope that you are doing well. thank you for demonstrating your affection for Sarah by coming here and trying to understand what's going on from her perspective. i have a lot of respect for what you have said here. it probably doesn't mean a lot, but i wanted you to know it.

-shadowdancer