I am really missing T today. I usually see him on Tuesday and then again on Thursday, so this would be my normal therapy day if I was doing 2 sessions this week. I think that the reduced sessions coming on the heels of his vacation just feels like a HUGE change in how much I'm seeing T. Even huger than it really is, probably.

I *know* I am ready for this. It was good to not have to take the time out of my day to go to therapy, and it was good to not have to spend the money. I have other people I can call to connect, and I did call someone, and texted someone else. I really do believe this is happening how it's supposed to.

AND at the same time, this feels gigantic and hard and sad. For 2 1/2 years I've had the same routine of seeing T 2x/week. It's like my subconscious is all trained to be ready for therapy every 3 or 4 days now, and I need to retrain it to wait a week. Right now this feels so strange, and I just really really miss him.

I did call a while ago to see if we can connect for a minute by phone. I'm sure he will me call me on the way home if he can, and if he can't, it's really not a huge deal. I don't feel spiraly about it. But it would be nice to connect for a minute.