Well this weekend I was really hoping to do something with my brother and my friend. I hadn't done anything social in 2 weeks so I'd really like to get out. I hate always sitting at home! I asked both of them to go bowling with me. My brother wasn't feeling good, so he didn't go. Then my friend, who said she would love to hang out, calls TWO hours before we're suppose to meet and says "I'm tired, I'm not going anymore." I was SO angry. I was already dressed up and excited to go out. I felt betrayed yet again. I felt abandoned yet again. It's sad I expected the entire thing to happen anyway, and was STILL so upset. It took me two days to really absorb my anger and that's when I drank and cut. I'm still pretty pissed about what she did....and this is the second time in a month she has done this to me. I don't have any other friends from high school who live in the area except her...I'm sick of being so anti-social and never being able to just enjoy myself. I'm sick of being the one who is left out. And I'm sick of being the one that my friend bails on. I feel second class in every friendship I have with these people....the person they only do stuff with "if there's no other option."

I feel neglected.