Oh my god, I took my notebook with my daily notes of how I felt with me too and the dude actually looked at me like I had two heads when I tried to read it to him!

I know I probably need to go to the ER but they freaking suck worse than the stupid drs office does. And right now I am so disgusted and disillusioned with the medical establishment that my kidney is going to have to fall out or I am going to have to be unconscious before I go to the dr again. I tried to imagine a situation where I could see a dr that would sit and listen to me and actually take care of me and I cannot even fathom what that may be like.

I do know that the topamax is out for now. There is no way I am going to take something that makes me HURT like this. I would seriously compare it to childbirth. I'm trying to remind myself that no one dies of pain, right? It will have to eventually go away...either that or I will finally jump over the line to crazy town and then maybe I won't care about the pain anymore??

Going to heat up my heating pad...Thanks for all the replies, I feel less crazy now.