Oh thanks so much everyone. rainbow you are right.. I don't believe her. And Friday is so far away and I know I will be okay but it still just feels awful and I want to just get this over with and I just wish there was a way to feel clean. I just have the urge to scrub all the skin off my body. tree I wish I didn't have to sit in this awfulness but I don't have a choice, so I guess the only choice is just to let myself feel this. What else can I do, anyway?

Work is really hard lately and piling all this together -- finances, family stress, crazy work stress, and this awful therapy ickness -- ugh, it just feels like too much! And I am trying to get stuff together to think about applying for grad school at the end of the year. And I don't really have support in my life or even anyone I know that I feel safe with at all. Times like these I miss my ex so much. I am so lonely and I just wish there was someone, anyone, trustworthy in my life. That I didn't have to pay for. That I got to see more than one hour a week. I'm so glad you all are here.

I wish I could call my ex and not regret it. I just want to feel safe and I don't feel safe alone by myself.