Lone scout i have to be honest. It would be kind of selfish. You seem like you are miserable and you just want to end the suffering. I feel similar. Im tired physically and emotionally and i dont have the energy to do alot of things. You have to keep going....i dont want to but i have to also, mostly im just looking towards the future.even now i want to give up but you just cant. If you cant do it for yourself u need to do it for that part of you that is growing inside your wife. I hope you can find some type of peace in this painful and confusing time. Just living a functional life is sooo hard and really i think its times that we all want to quit. That feeling comes back eventually but you just cant give up.