Well. Today was a day I had been worrying about, but yet anxious to have come all at the same time. I have been away for awhile and wanted to let some of you know why I had been out.

Things have been pretty crazy here. Started to get a little manic, and the irritability had become a significant issue. To the point that I was like, I will just leave so my wife didnt have to deal with me and my issues. Breaking things, hitting walls, etc.

Finally today was the day that I was to go to Mental Health and see the doc. I tried to prepare myself for this. Printing out all my patient assistance forms for the medicine that I was expecting to go on. I get there for my appointment and come to find out, I had seen the doc (actually nurse practitioner) a few years back. I like him, and he is very open and honest. Understands my life, what I have been through, and didnt try to reprimand me for my behavior.

After talking with him for awhile, I got him to sign my form which will release my military medical records to their office. Pisses me off though because he said they cannot re-release them to me. How the hell am I supposed to get them for ME? He did say that I can read them though. I guess that is better than nothing. A little later we started to talk about medications. Told him that the last medicines I was on worked really well. We talked about the weight I had put on, and because of this, we decided that maybe going back on the Depakote might not be a great idea. We are going to use that as a backup in case the new med doesnt work. I just hate trying new things. Having to learn the side effects, etc.

Put back on the Geodon (60mg), and will start titrating up on Lamictal. Only problem, I have NO clue about this medicine. He told me that there is a chance that it can cause me to get a rash. I guess time will tell... I just dont want to deal with the whole Zombie pills we have had to deal with in the past.