I am still hurting badly. She emailed me 2 days ago stating, "Just focus on you right now. I think it's best if you just let me go. I am not who you want or need right now. Please let me go." Then my sons mother lost her unborn child which was not mine. I sent her an email telling her the baby died. I also stated that she did not have to email me back. She emailed me back with remorse for the situation. And at the end of the email she asked if I was home. She wants to call me obviously. I did not respond. Then she forwarded information to me about DUI's today. I still have not made the effort to email her back. I don't know whats next for me in life. I still miss being in our apt. Someone else lives there now I am sure. But still. I miss her. I just imagine everytime I think about her, the fact that she comes home to him everyday now. I know she wants him or she wouldn't be there. But he has her mind. I am sure that she hates it when she sees him with other women. Then again she feels guilty so she is probably going to just give him what ever he wants and allow him to destroy her. Then again she is well on her way by herself. I'm scared of going to court now. My DUI may cause me to do that. And then I know I will loose my car. Through it all I feel like I have lost everything. But she wanted to destroy me. If I didn't give her what she wanted she would try to destroy what ever I cared about. She demanded attention. I wonder if she is just going to get worse? She says she's gonna go get help in January. I wander if this guy can actually handle dealing with her that long. In someways I still do want her. I know I was in Love and still am. But I can't accept being with a woman like that. And allowing the pain to control my life. Actually I don't think he can handle dealing with her that long.