W,

I just want to give you the biggest hug right now.

I don't know you well, but I've noticed that ever since you began discussing going back to work with T, you've struggled in this way...To me they seem intricately linked.

So, to ignore it and not tell T and go back to work before you're ready sounds like a really, really bad idea to me. Like, potentially fatal mistake.

Please tell your T. Let him know that you don't think you need to be hospitalized (if that is the truth), but you need support around this and need help getting to the root of the issue and staying safe.

Also, will you please post here later and let us know that you are okay?