sorry for my outburst here. I tried to not speak out how I feel... see first post. sigh. I can't be normal when I am not normal. It won't happen and those who expect it from me... well?? No one (well, me) can be considered normal if they NEED therapy 3x a week for 18 years! Are you sure you aren't asking more of me than I can give? If you want me to post when I'm in pain, instead, in the psychotic forum to keep from upsetting members, then I will... having to leave the site when I need it doesn't seem right some how.