I had a really rough night last night. I cried myself to sleep again...listened to a song that reminded me of my mom which was probably a mistake.

I kept having images flashing inside my head...seeing my mom on the couch smoking and drinking her coffee, her sitting on the porch watching the cars go by, seeing her in her coffin, seeing her laying in that bed just a shell of her once strong self...oh, I see it all. I can almost hear her voice, feel her essence...

Sometimes I can't stand all of this. I feel so alone in my grieving. My bf doesn't know how bad of a night I had. He was sleeping and is impossible to wake up!

I know you guys don't know how to help me anymore, but I just need someone to listen and to relate to me. Hugs are great, too! Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to know what my needs are.

Thanks for listening.