I know you love him honey. As long you have contact with him you will still love him. It takes time and distance and your own breathing space without his influence - to get over him. You owe it to yourself.

He is messed up and messing you up with him. Why should you be friends or go back to someone who has caused you so much hurt? why giving him so much control over you? he is not your dad or your mum. he is a guy. one that you love but hurts you. love yourself. heal yourself. and the little girl inside you that craves change and hope and love and acceptance and that wishes upon a dream. Heal her and you will feel so much better. A good step is to stop contact with those that hurt her and also do nice things for this little beautiful kind girl. She so deserves it Belle xxx