His lack of awareness of your feelings sounds like a personality disorder rather than an OCD.

I am hearing you express just as much pain due this, as to the sexual issues. It's possible he has an addiction that he may be hiding from you as well, like maybe porn? He might find this a more comfortable way to release because of the OCD fears and anxieties, which are nothing to do with you as being satisfactory to him or not. I'm sure you're amazing, but the OCD is strong enough to break his pleasure, and have it hard for him to get out of his head, and be in the moment like you rightfully need him to be.

I don't mean to give you something to fear as I may be wrong, but it may help you find more clarity, thus decide what you need to do, should this in fact be the case.