I also am very snappy, but for me it is usually a build up before it reaches agression. I'll ask once nicely, maybe twice and if you're very lucky a third time. If I do not have a response by then, I tend to get VERY aggressive.

If the perpetuator is my boyfriend, I usually go into the room next door, tense my entire body's muscles and scream internally. Thereafter I collapse on the bed and have a good cry. Taking an anti-anxiety tab or 2 thereafter then allows me to carry on with my life.
I try my best to walk away from a situation when possible, but I know it's not easy. I do agree that you need to work on anger managament - take responsibility for your actions and know that you cannot treat other people like that. You need to find out what your triggers are, avoid them, or if you have no choice but to go through a trigger, have an action plan of how to keep calm