I'm in a tricky relationship. It's been about 4.5 years, and I do believe we love each other.
However, every now and again he goes out with the boys and gets TRASHED. I feel he is also not emotional enough for me, and I sometimes feel incredibly lonely even though we are in a relationship and live together. Last night for the first time in a long time I joined him out drinking. Well, I only had a few, as I noticed I was getting tired and slightly tipsy, and also that someone had to take control of the situation.

Bear in mind- he's not a teenager; he's 37! while i drove him and friend home, he suddenly opens the door. Luckily I realise and stop, but he still gets out and has a huge drunken rage of aggression and kicks his side mirror right of his own car! He carries on and on until it is wrecked.

I was scared! After he passes out, his friend tries to pull into me, which made me feel violated.

I feel terrible and need to realistically ask myself - why am I still here after 4.5 years? What am I getting out of it? I really believe a normal person would have left ages ago.

Is my depression and bipolar making me cling to a dream that's not there? Is my anxiety stopping me from being on my own?